Lately my theme has been simplifying my life. With that, once May ended I thought June would be a month of relaxation. March-May were just hellish. So many things taking up my days- all great, but no rest for the weary. Weddings, Graduations, Graduation Parties, Babies being born, Spring Cleaning, etc. And now, there are 2 families I am a part of, which is awesome, but crazy at the same time. So, lately I've been trying to simplify every piece of my life- clearing clutter out of my closet literally and giving all my clothes to Barb lol, but also saying no to a lot of things. Auditions, trips, etc. And well, as much as I'm glad and relieved that I came to the realization a long time ago that doing theatre as a career was not practical for me, I still end up missing it. As much as I say I want a break, i want free time, I miss doing it. I tried to fill the time with other creative outlets like photography, writing, making scrapbooks even, but ain't nothin' compared. :) Nothing is as fulfilling to me. Nothing else gives me that sense of accomplishment.
Went to ballet tonight and just laughed at how awful I looked. In the past I would have pissed on myself and gotten so down about the fact that if I didn't do well, I'd never make it. Well, tonight class sucked my left butthole. But it was ok with me. It's nice to know that my life won't depend on that. It's nice to know I can sing or dance for fun without it ever having a direct correlation to what my paycheck will be. But then I get these messages on facebook, "are you auditioning for this? Are you auditioning for that? Oh come on!"
And I miss it again. I watch the videos again. I look at the pictures. And I want to do something again. And I consider trying out for this show or another show, but then I remember the other more important things happening in my life. But maybe that's important to me if it keeps me sane. It's my outlet to get away. To get rid of my crazy thoughts, or be away from real life for a hot sec.
SO as I learn to balance my priorities and people in my life, I guess if the opportunity presents itself, I'll find something to do. I'm almost to the point where I don't care what anybody else thinks or wants me to do and I wanna say Eff off. Ima do what I want.
Things I haven't done lately
1. Sang
2. Hung out with friends
3. Watched TV
4. Nothing
5. Slept in
6. Gone to the Beach
7. Laughed really hard
8. Worn sweats
Things I Have Done Lately that I need to Take a Break From
1. Weddings, Grads, parties, etc.
2. Wedding planning
3. Written in my planner way too much
4. Worn too many dresses
5. Told People what I really thought
6. Cleaned too much
7. Organized my closet
8. paid too many bills
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I 100% understand how you feel. Seussical was almost a year ago now and even though I've been involved with productions as a choreographer, it doesn't quench that thirst to be on stage. I need it!
ReplyDeleteSo say "Ima do what I want"!
:)